Associate from Solaris

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This is a story.
This is not love story.
This is a story about love.

I do not remember if I told you how I was unhappy in love.

I always unfortunate fall in love, it's nothing strange to me, it's always something wrong. But this time it was quite different. Maybe once I would write all about my loves but not sure about this. In fact I come into contradiction with myself. I will write and I am writing, but only to you. Why to you and why about this? Eh. Surely not just to read.

It started to when I was a "little". In the seventh grade I read a book a day. Librarian did not believe me. It is usually issued only by one book, I asked three at once. I am returning the books and the librarian with suspicious expression on his face asks: What was not rolled? suspecting that I have not read even one. - These two are excellent and the third of Zen Gray I do not like. I do not like his attitude toward the killing of Indians and I will no longer read him. When playing with friends only I was Indian, and all the others were cowboys who wanted to kill Indians. I guess I then started to fantasize, to live in a world of my own, continuing to read further.

As a little older I had a communicating problem with girls. "I did not know what to talk." It sounds strange with so many readings of everything. I started spinning in my mind would let a foreigner as a girl more suited. It turned out later that I was wrong again. I had an "adventure game" to one Italian tourist, certainly far more experienced than me. There was no corpus delicti, but it seems my uncle realized benefit.
I wonder where I had been?

There was even a German girl (we understand half in English half in German). We were floating in my boat in the middle of the sea when suddenly broke the bottom part of bikinis. The upper she was "voluntarily" took off.

I was so distracted I just thought as soon as possible to return to remedy this. As it happened something very important for what I am responsible („in my boat "). Then there was a "near goal". She was young and beautiful. When she was returning with her mother in Berlin in Swedish sports car mark "Glass" suffered a car accident. She broke both legs. Switch is an urgent air. I wanted to go to Berlin but my passport expired. My parents would permit me. I do not know what happened on there. I sent a letter but I did not receive a response. Time was passing ...

Finally I come to the beginning. It Was a long time ago but I do not know when. I started to read one of those scientific fiction novel. Before that I read another one. I did not read only Sci-Fi. I read the Russian classics. Dostoevsky I did not like once I will tell you about, Chekhov, but I most like Turgenev. He is the representative of Russian Romanticism and you then understand why he "fits" me. In the previous sci-fi book (I think the writer is Paul Andersson) is about travel through time and space. He comes on a planet where is primitive society. There, among other things, introduces a "primitive one" who did not know his language. Eventually he receives her in his boat and lead her in his world. Topic is interesting to think about. Even then, as I read, I knew that in life is not all that simple.

Then happened that novel. Irrelevant details I forgot. Author, book title, an action beyond the generic.
He arrived as a young and promising scientist on the planet with high advanced civilization. There was the elderly scientist who had Associate which is a bit to say that was exceptional. Began to develop romance in parallel with action. Description of the that girl is so fit my imagination that I would not be able better to describe her.

Mode of communication, understanding, respect for partners, calm, unusual way of anger when something was not pleased her, hard-working, enterprising, very quaint and charming sense of humor, tenderness, love and understanding all other details that caused I felt in love with her. I was so involved in the character of the novel.

And then it occurred to me a shock.

But no that one which you could guess. My sense of love for her could not and did not change (to this day, if I could tell so)

One morning the young scientist was informed by professor that in visit comes Dotty, (his daughter) which makes him very happy. The young scientist has received this note indifferently. He had his Associate (we will call her so) he is absolutely fit with.

The daughter was the exact opposite Associate. Unbridled, wild, irresponsible, airy, abstract, impulsive like a whirlwind. She fall in love in young scientist at first sight. I do not know how this is crucial - she was "the right one".

When young scientists first saw her he could not believe - She looked absolutely the same as his Associate. He was confused. The explanation is immediately followed.

Professor supposed associate to assist him in his work. He made android. On the image of her daughter.  With her behavior just the opposite. Neural network software allowed the independent development, operation, choices. Completely developed awareness is not at all behind the human, on the contrary. There was only one missing. Reproduction.

The culmination of the plot was when Associate decided to save life of Dotty which would be possible to stay together with young scientists, sacrifices her own existence, her life.

If I ever in my life felt disappointed, it was then when I finished reading the novel. Associate is left in my heart like no other character of books, film or something else. So if there is no possibility that you one day show up here in front of me, I'd like she somehow appears at least for a moment.

Click on photo to enlarge

This is the end of story.

Or maybe not. Why? It happened something strange. I finished writing and I start to collect music and photos to illustrate a story, when I got unusual voice message via email without sender. (Click on player) Maybe I will write to you what happened next.

domatrios, as always
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